What do you consider to be the most important social problem in the world today?
Social problems around the world: lack of values, relationship issues within families, prejudice, which is the most important among them all? Of course, there might be different arguments for it; some may say that prejudice is the most important because these incidents are happening around them, while others might say that the lack of values is the most important as the new generation is starting to show their wrong attitude about life. I would say that none of these are the most substantial problem, but the problem of greed would be the one that might harm our world the most in the near future.
Workers yesterday, managers today, state bosses tomorrow; would people ever be satisfied? A definite no! The generation today would always seek for a higher position in life, never willing to stop and be happy with their own results. An example would be the infamous Adolf Hitler. Did you know that before he became a leader and dictator of such power, he was just a mere worker? Because of his overwhelming greed, he had that strong desire to crave for more power even after he became a leader, resulting in him killing over fifty million people in his lifetime. This is an example of the phrase “greed is the root of all evil”. What would we do if we would have someone like him in the world again?
The problem of greed does not stand alone; it affects the honesty of a human being as well. When one starts being greedy, underhand means would be used to attain what they desire. In a competition, we often see people harming or threatening their competitors prior to the match so as the gain the upper hand before the game even starts, giving them unfair advantages over others. Wouldn’t this reflect badly upon them, both that they were greedy and that they were dishonest?
Some may argue that prejudice is the most important social problem, but in actual fact, prejudice is actually caused by greed. Cases of prejudice occur in many different forms: skin colors, income groups and many more. For skin colors, people show greed as people would want more advantage over some other people, and income group depicts greed as the rich did not help the poor but instead, flaunt their richness by making the poor do work and treat them like slaves. Don’t these then show that greed is indeed the root of all evil?
One would never be satisfied with himself. At the end of the day, the problem of greed would never cease to exist. Nevertheless, as long as people in the world know when to stop, the social problem of greed would definitely decrease drastically and thus, other social problems that arise such as prejudice and crimes would subsequently diminish eventually.
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The thesis is stated clearly, which is good. The points in the body paragraphs are also good, especially the second body paragraph. The second body paragraph shows how greed can link to dishonesty, which is also another social problem. However, I feel that adding one more point before the counter argument paragraph would be better, as it would make your arguments about how greed is the biggest social problem stronger.
ReplyDeleteI feel that you have done a good job overall for your essay, as you have included some good examples. The thesis is also stated quite clearly, which is a good job done. I feel that you can improve on your essay by adding more points to your counter argument paragraph, as it you make your arguments about how greed is the biggest social problem stronger.
ReplyDeleteThe rhetoric questions you posed in the essay are thought-provoking and intriguing, adding merit to your essay. The examples and evidence you gave are also solid and would boost the credibility of your argument. Your thesis is also clear, which is good as the readers can more clearly understand the message you are trying to convey. However, I feel that if you elaborate more in your conclusion, such as do you think the people will know when to stop. Overall, this is a well-structured and organized essay, evidently the result of good research and penmanship. Keep it up!
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