According to Dictionary.com, a gentleman is a man regarded of having qualities of refinement associated with a good family. However, I do feel that this definition is wrong.
As mentioned in a class, a gentleman would have a few distinct qualities: being smart in appearance, knows what to speak and when to speak, is polite to all and have appropriate behaviour at all times as well as the ability to keep cool under any situation. With reference to the meaning given in Dictionary.com, not all gentleman have to have a “good family” as said. Are you saying that one with a bad background, e.g. family members in jail, does not possess the quality to be a gentleman? And if that’s the case, does that mean everyone who did not have a pleasant family history cannot be a gentleman?
In contrary wise, I do not think that being smart in appearance is an important aspect of being a gentleman. As the saying goes: don’t judge a book by its cover. However smart a man might look on the outside, he could be an all jerk in it, breaking hearts of girls. However, a man might be all filthy or so, but he could have a big heart and possesses every other quality. So in this case, does this mean that a person who doesn’t look smart, especially if it’s natural, cannot be called upon as a true gentleman?
All in all, I feel that a gentleman cannot be judged based on what you see him as and what he’s background is, but must be felt and interacted with to determine whether he is a true gentleman.
I disagree regarding the definition of a gentleman. Although the definition of a gentleman in the dictionary is partially wrong, it is not "definitely" wrong, as parts of the dictionary definition is still correct, as the dictionary is "qualities of refinement ASSOCIATED with a fine family". This could mean that although a man does not come from a fine family, he have values (of refinement) that in the old days are only associated with fine families. However, I agree with your point that although a person is filthy, he have a generous heart and other gentlemanly qualities (Note: This is also disagreeing with Kervin's comment on this post, posted on his blog), then he is a gentleman. I would like to add that a major point for this is his dignity; many people that are poor not because of their own faults but because of circumstances, e.g. unrest, discrimination, et cetera, had resigned themselves to their fates and walk in a "shamed" posture due to their status, such as bowed back, lowered head, et cetera. Rare is one who, in those circumstances, could carry himself with his own quiet dignity and pride, and I think those rare few are true gentlemens.
ReplyDeleteMy favourite post on gentlemen, Wei Kiat. Thank you. Yes, I feel that gentlemen is a mental thing. Gentlemen aren't all identified by walking up to them and saying "hi". There are true gentlemen and there are gentlemen masks. True gentlemen are more than what they wear and what they have. Gentlemen masks are all about how you see them first. This is what most villains of the world are like. They present a great image of themselves to others, but under this mask they are terrible people. Great post! Thank you, Wei Kiat.
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